Dating Games
I was having lunch at a fast food place with some friends from work, and I noticed one of the guys must be pretty damn picky; he had like 6 stickers on his burger wrapper:
Bacon
No Lettuce
Dry
No Onions
Extra Pickle
And something like, Spit on Me Please.
Then it occurred to me; wouldn’t dating be easier if people had labels that were this obvious?
You’re at your favorite meet and greet location (the bar) and some one walks up to say “Hey!” Right, now you have to sit and talk to them for about 20 minutes (an hour if you are drunk or slow… or both) to determine whether or not you want to have anything to do with this person and exactly how much you want to have to do with them. Imagine if they had fluorescent stickers across their forehead reading:
5 kids
5 x’s
No job
Over one billion served
You would know right away, “No I will not buy you a drink." " Yes that seat is taken." "Could you move? Your blocking my view.” Your dismissal of choice...
As you can tell I am single, which to me translates to “Happy”. Having been married and in a few other relationships with varying degrees of success (depends on the outcome you were looking for) I believe these labels could be used to alleviate the stress of the “getting to know you” period. Hell we could just skip the conversation all together and get to the good parts right? I mean it’s the conversation that always ends up being the issue generator anyway.
My labels would read:
Cynical
Sarcastic
Blunt
1 kid
Hmmm I don’t like this idea anymore…..
"Next I shall pull a bunny from your ass”
*quiet mumbling*
“Huh?!?”
*quiet mumbling*
“Oh.”
“From this hat… this hat… yeah…”
Closing thought; I don’t really know, this was half a thought when it started and became less and less of one as it went on…. So everyone is allowed a bad day right?
Bacon
No Lettuce
Dry
No Onions
Extra Pickle
And something like, Spit on Me Please.
Then it occurred to me; wouldn’t dating be easier if people had labels that were this obvious?
You’re at your favorite meet and greet location (the bar) and some one walks up to say “Hey!” Right, now you have to sit and talk to them for about 20 minutes (an hour if you are drunk or slow… or both) to determine whether or not you want to have anything to do with this person and exactly how much you want to have to do with them. Imagine if they had fluorescent stickers across their forehead reading:
5 kids
5 x’s
No job
Over one billion served
You would know right away, “No I will not buy you a drink." " Yes that seat is taken." "Could you move? Your blocking my view.” Your dismissal of choice...
As you can tell I am single, which to me translates to “Happy”. Having been married and in a few other relationships with varying degrees of success (depends on the outcome you were looking for) I believe these labels could be used to alleviate the stress of the “getting to know you” period. Hell we could just skip the conversation all together and get to the good parts right? I mean it’s the conversation that always ends up being the issue generator anyway.
My labels would read:
Cynical
Sarcastic
Blunt
1 kid
Hmmm I don’t like this idea anymore…..
"Next I shall pull a bunny from your ass”
*quiet mumbling*
“Huh?!?”
*quiet mumbling*
“Oh.”
“From this hat… this hat… yeah…”
Closing thought; I don’t really know, this was half a thought when it started and became less and less of one as it went on…. So everyone is allowed a bad day right?
posted by Capt. Obvious at 6:31 AM
4 Comments:
"So everyone is allowed a bad day right?" -- Absolutely
I've given up on the games for now. I'm not one to believe in fate, or true love. I guess I'm just not willing to put my hopes so high that they would be crushed in an instant. The bar scene has never been one that worked for me anyways.
I guess in the grand scheme of things, I just plan to be rich and famous. I'll have sex with the hot groupie chicks and all will be fine. Here's to wishful thinking. Cheers!!
my labels would say
high maintenance
sarcastic
and
easily distracted - so u have 10 seconds to make me laugh
or atm, simply...
get lost
heheh yeah I have basically taken a stance of "get away from me" the last few months. Shrug I dunno...
I don't even wanna know what my sticker would say but probably somthing like:
Dry
Cynical
Blunt
Apathetic
Hopefully a Neutral party would apply these stickers...You sure don't want your friends or Signficant others to do it!
Post a Comment
<< Home