It’s Meat… In A Can!

Like everyone else with an email address I receive an abundance of spam emails. Generally I delete them; sometimes I read them for a laugh. Seriously, who orders the “make your penis larger” pills? I tend to read the chain letter types that friends send, again mostly for a laugh. I hope none of my friends think I may alter my perception of something because I got an email with 14,000 forwards associated to it. But I digress; I want to talk about some of the chain-mail emails I have received lately because some of them are just so stupid I can’t help but comment on them. So, reserve the delete key for a few minutes and read on.

So I got this one chain-letter from a friend the other day; my friend stated in the title that it was intended as inspiration for my article. So I am going to use that specific email as an example, because honestly it’s a great example of what I am talking about. Here is an excerpt from the email:

You as a Christian can help!

We are praying for at least 1 million signatures. This would defeat their effort and show that there are many Christians alive, well and concerned about our country. As Christians we must unite on this. Please don't take this lightly.

We ignored this lady once and lost prayer in our school and in offices across the nation.

Please stand up for your religious freedom and let your voice be heard. Together we can make a difference in our country while creating a way for the lost to know the Lord.

Please press "forward", and forward this to everyone that you think should read this. Now, please sign your name at the bottom (you can only add your name after you have pressed the "Forward").

Prior to the “You as a Christian” thing they talk about how some group has worked hard and succeeded in removing prayer from schools and some other crap. The other crap isn’t true however. But I think that’s beside the point for their particular target audience. The target audience being those well meaning paving the road to hell types (for those that aren’t familiar with the phrase it goes: “The road to hell is paved with good intentions”)

As you know from reading some of my previous articles I am not a Christian. But that aside how foolish does someone have to be to think that praying will inspire signatures to appear on a document they aren’t handing out in hard copy? Are these people so blatantly ignorant of the laws they are trying to use here that they don’t know that someone typing their name does not qualify as a signature, nor is a collection of names in this manor legally representative of a signed petition? Well apparently they are that ignorant because they also did not include a place to send it back to, and they set it up so your signature can’t be placed until after you forward the email on. This last part insures that any signatures received will not make it onto the form that is being handed around. But hey they mentioned the Lord, Prayer and Christianity, shit we better all sign up so we can get our virgins. Oh wait a minute… that’s a different god.

I am going to write up an all encompassing general statement to start slapping into chain letters. You know, some long winded version of “How stupid do you have to be to buy this crap” that I can slip into the “save the world from starvation” letters and hit “Reply To All”. I know it’s just adding to the problem but if I attach it to enough of them and send them around they are bound to make their way back to the originators eventually right? Maybe even alter or black out enough of the original that it will still be identifiable but completely pointless to read. Yeah … that might be fun.

Closing thought:
I don’t really have a closing thought that would be considered at all original on this one, but just for the sake of personal well being; find out everything and think objectively about it before you consider joining the herd.

If you get a kick out of reading some of those dumb ass emails like I do … keep your eye out for my amended versions… you may get a kick out of it as well.