T-n-A
I had told all my friends yesterday that today’s entry would be about Truth in Advertising, that is to say it’s an oxymoron… there is almost no truth in advertising with the exception of the price, the name, and the fact the company really wants you to buy it. So on my way into the office this morning a friend tells me about a particular gas company’s profits last year. Holy Shit…I knew they were all full of shit about how the gas price had to go up due to supply and cost of production, but DAMN… they set a national all time record for a single company’s real dollar profits over one year. Look out Bill someone (besides me, apparently) wants your title for richest person in the US. That is almost not at all relevant to what I plan to write, but an interesting side note none the less.
So on to the commentary (that’s pronounced “Rant”). Let’s start with how a product is brought to be available for public consumption. A group of developers (for existing companies, not going into the Garage based Inventor today) get assigned, or come up with, an idea for a product and get to work putting together something they would want to take home to the spouse and rug rats and be able to smile and say “I made this!” So the labor of designing a well made, long lasting, 100% functional thing-a-ma-whacker begins. Months, sometimes years, later they have a product sometimes known as an Alpha Model (presumably “alpha” because they know it is far superior to anything that will spawn from its design, but publicly because it’s the first one) that is ready for “Improvement”. Side note: Improvement is a relative term, no really it is read on and see.
And now the Committee of “we don’t know jack about this thing” gets together and decides, after 6 months of pre-meeting meetings and two rounds of “business golf” sessions, to move it on to phase B (I don’t think that actually relates to Beta, but it may if only by coincidence). At which time they proceed to celebrate a job well done with a business lunch at the nearest “live entertainment” establishment (that’s strip club to you and me). And so enters the Marketing Group.
Now this is where it gets “Cool”, Marketing Gurus A-G come on the scene and ask, “how much will this cost to manufacture?” Of course this, even after 50 previous runs at this same process, never occurred to the development group who responds with something like “well it cost us 10 thousand to make this one.” For obvious reasons this is not an acceptable figure for a thing-a-ma-whacker. Marketing Gurus A-G roll up their sleeves (mostly to make it look like it’s hard work) and start to “Improve” the thing-a-ma-whacker, generally with a result of a theeng-a-ma-wakr, that is; it’s only about 60% functional and costs about 10% as much to manufacture. They then decide on a marketable price, force approval of production from the developers, and hand this proud achievement back over to the Committee of “we don’t know jack about this thing”, and they call it a day. The committee nods, smiles and decides to again celebrate on the company dollar, after of course sending the plans on to manufacturing as Phase C (could be C for complete.. but it’s not).
Manufacturing, what a concept that is… I will have to get into this all by itself one day. But back to the article at hand; Manufacturing takes the theeng-a-ma-wakr and determines it’s not completely feasible and gets approval for a few alterations for “Efficiency” purposes, resulting in a thag-a-ma-wkr. And so begins the production for public consumption.
Now after a brief stay in a warehouse, on a boat, in a truck, and on a shelf; this lovely piece of life altering, even makes your coffee in the morning, product now known as a Whatcha-ma-doodle (because when advertised it sounds better) lands in the customers hands for an unbelievably low price of $9,999.99. That’s right! Under 10 thousand dollars (plus tax).
Enter the company safety net, the one group in all this time that has had no say, no consideration, almost no funding, and whose job is about to be shipped to a foreign country without them; Support. Support gets the blame for all the problems that arise, and justifiably of course, because they never spoke up to let anyone know the theeng-a-ma-wakr wouldn’t work without a power cord. When the customer calls for help, Support is left with answers like “I am sorry.”, “I understand.”, and “That part is on back order until Christmas of 3010.”
Closing thought:
This is obviously riddled with sarcasm, exaggeration, and lacking in some important steps but I hope that anyone that bothered to read this far can determine the gist of what I am getting at, the reality is companies want your money just like we want consumables; they aren’t in it for charitable reasons any more than we are. They try to get you what you want at a price you and they can afford. Think before you buy and if it isn’t right take it back. Let the company know when you didn’t get what you feel you paid for the only way you really can, by getting what they want from you back from them.
Oh and just in case anyone missed how it was "improved"; in a company's view; cheaper to make means more profitability and therefore is improved.
So on to the commentary (that’s pronounced “Rant”). Let’s start with how a product is brought to be available for public consumption. A group of developers (for existing companies, not going into the Garage based Inventor today) get assigned, or come up with, an idea for a product and get to work putting together something they would want to take home to the spouse and rug rats and be able to smile and say “I made this!” So the labor of designing a well made, long lasting, 100% functional thing-a-ma-whacker begins. Months, sometimes years, later they have a product sometimes known as an Alpha Model (presumably “alpha” because they know it is far superior to anything that will spawn from its design, but publicly because it’s the first one) that is ready for “Improvement”. Side note: Improvement is a relative term, no really it is read on and see.
And now the Committee of “we don’t know jack about this thing” gets together and decides, after 6 months of pre-meeting meetings and two rounds of “business golf” sessions, to move it on to phase B (I don’t think that actually relates to Beta, but it may if only by coincidence). At which time they proceed to celebrate a job well done with a business lunch at the nearest “live entertainment” establishment (that’s strip club to you and me). And so enters the Marketing Group.
Now this is where it gets “Cool”, Marketing Gurus A-G come on the scene and ask, “how much will this cost to manufacture?” Of course this, even after 50 previous runs at this same process, never occurred to the development group who responds with something like “well it cost us 10 thousand to make this one.” For obvious reasons this is not an acceptable figure for a thing-a-ma-whacker. Marketing Gurus A-G roll up their sleeves (mostly to make it look like it’s hard work) and start to “Improve” the thing-a-ma-whacker, generally with a result of a theeng-a-ma-wakr, that is; it’s only about 60% functional and costs about 10% as much to manufacture. They then decide on a marketable price, force approval of production from the developers, and hand this proud achievement back over to the Committee of “we don’t know jack about this thing”, and they call it a day. The committee nods, smiles and decides to again celebrate on the company dollar, after of course sending the plans on to manufacturing as Phase C (could be C for complete.. but it’s not).
Manufacturing, what a concept that is… I will have to get into this all by itself one day. But back to the article at hand; Manufacturing takes the theeng-a-ma-wakr and determines it’s not completely feasible and gets approval for a few alterations for “Efficiency” purposes, resulting in a thag-a-ma-wkr. And so begins the production for public consumption.
Now after a brief stay in a warehouse, on a boat, in a truck, and on a shelf; this lovely piece of life altering, even makes your coffee in the morning, product now known as a Whatcha-ma-doodle (because when advertised it sounds better) lands in the customers hands for an unbelievably low price of $9,999.99. That’s right! Under 10 thousand dollars (plus tax).
Enter the company safety net, the one group in all this time that has had no say, no consideration, almost no funding, and whose job is about to be shipped to a foreign country without them; Support. Support gets the blame for all the problems that arise, and justifiably of course, because they never spoke up to let anyone know the theeng-a-ma-wakr wouldn’t work without a power cord. When the customer calls for help, Support is left with answers like “I am sorry.”, “I understand.”, and “That part is on back order until Christmas of 3010.”
Closing thought:
This is obviously riddled with sarcasm, exaggeration, and lacking in some important steps but I hope that anyone that bothered to read this far can determine the gist of what I am getting at, the reality is companies want your money just like we want consumables; they aren’t in it for charitable reasons any more than we are. They try to get you what you want at a price you and they can afford. Think before you buy and if it isn’t right take it back. Let the company know when you didn’t get what you feel you paid for the only way you really can, by getting what they want from you back from them.
Oh and just in case anyone missed how it was "improved"; in a company's view; cheaper to make means more profitability and therefore is improved.
posted by Capt. Obvious at 7:28 AM
3 Comments:
Ok so Why arn't baby's profitable, I mean come'on their cheap to make, and everybody wants one, right?
haha, well I have one... or 2... ebay anyone?
well said! I have to agree with you. However, in reference to your last comment.... you can ebay him right on over to me. :)
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